Top Five TV Moments
1) "Saturday Night Live" — Tina Fey does Sarah Palin
An impersonation so dead-on Fey's 3-year-old daughter actually confused the two. Perhaps the show's best political imitation since Chevy Chase's Gerald Ford.
2) Hulu.com introduced in the U.S.
Because of this TV-streaming site, we might not be doing anything productive ever again. Ever.
3) Season two of "Mad Men"
This show, which had a small but devoted following its first season, totally fucking blew up this year. Since Brad Pitt didn't graduate, we think this makes Jon Hamm, who plays lead man Don Draper, MU's Best Alumnus Ever.
4) "The Office" - Jim proposes to Pam
And an entire nation squealed with joy at the television.
5) "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" — The "Day Man" musical
Usually, when a show does a "musical" episode, it means it's jumped the shark, but in the case of the gang from "Always Sunny," it means one of the funniest and most cringe-worthy episodes ever.
Top Five Celebrity Comebacks
1) Robert Downey Jr.
After years as a cracked-out has-been, Downey Jr. came back in a big way this summer, first as a surprisingly sexy Tony Stark in "Iron Man" and later as a self-important Aussie actor who plays a black man in "Tropic Thunder." It's only a matter of time before he's snagging Oscars.
2) Britney Spears
After two straight years of Train-Wreck Britney, she's come back to rightfully claim her throne as the Queen of Pop. She's starting to get her career and her family back together, and we're rooting for her, for sho.
3) Rick Astley
Helped by the Internet phenomenon known as "Rickrolling," Astley, in a landslide, was voted the "Greatest Artist Ever" at the MTV Europe Awards. Yes, we did.
4) The Spice Girls
The world got a much-needed extra dose of Girl Power when the group reunited for a world tour.
5) The Tampa Bay Rays
OK, so maybe it's not much of a comeback when you weren't really ever there, but the jump from being the worst team in baseball to winning an AL pennant is worth noting.
Top Five Most Awesome Things About the Olympics
1) USA upsets France in men's swimming 4x100 relay
The French trash-talked the U.S. before the event, making the win that much sweeter and the sheer closeness of it that much more exciting.
2) Usain Bolt breaks the 100m record
This guy didn't just win, he won by looking behind him and thumping his chest before he even finished.
3) The opening ceremony
The drums at the beginning have to be one of the most amazing spectacles we have ever seen in an arena.
4) Michael Phelps wins eight gold medals
A freak-of-nature achievement, but we knew he'd do it.
5) Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh win the gold in women's beach volleyball
Being at the top of the world is one thing. Doing it twice in a row: priceless.
Top Five Celebrity Beards
1) Conan O'Brien
There aren't too many things much better than a ginger beard, especially when the ginger in question is everyone's favorite late-night leprechaun. We were actually sort of sad when the writers' strike ended and took Conan's bushy delight with it.
2) David Letterman
In a very close second to Conan is David Letterman's writers' strike beard. Watch out, Santa!
3) Robert Downey Jr. in "Iron Man"
Tony Stark's beard in "Iron Man" defines precision and detail for beards. Featuring a painstakingly groomed moustache delicately connecting to a framed soul patch.
4) Kevin Jonas
Apparently, puberty has arrived for the eldest Jonas, judging by his barely there facial hair. Though Kevin's peach fuzz doesn't necessarily qualify as a full-fledged beard, he's on the list since its so cute he's becoming a man. Maybe his voice will change, too. Someday.
5) Michael Phelps at the Olympics
The iconic pictures of Phelps from Beijing don't show it, but when you dig a little deeper you discover that Phelps can grow a mean goatee. We're guessing the greatest swimmer of all time grew tired of his whole-body shave routine and decided to stay scruffy for a few days.
Top Five Awful Ubiquitous Fashion Trends
1) Guys wearing women's pants
We thought the memo had made its rounds by now. Personally, we're not fans of your bulge bulging out the top of your jeans, so at least buy some men's skinny jeans if you must wear your pants so tight.
2) Ugg Boots with skirts
Ladies, this look died about six months after it began, which was in 2006-ish. For the love of God, if you have to wear your Uggs, throw on some jeans.
3) Under Armour
We get it. You go to the gym. Congratulations on your rockin' bod, but just so you're aware, it's about 20 degrees outside.
4) Neon skinny jeans
We realize these have been in virtually every couture magazine, but from what we've seen, neon skinny jeans do not flatter anyone weighing more than about 90 pounds.
5) Shutter shades
As made famous by Kanye. We realize some people might be offended, but shutter shades look utterly ridiculous and cheap, especially in the daytime.
Five People We'll Miss The Most
1) George Carlin
He taught us "Seven Dirty Words" and how to use them correctly. He also showed us the rules of the road in "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back."
2) Heath Ledger
The Joker was definitely the most popular new Halloween costume of 2008.
3) Estelle Getty
She made retirement sexy again on "Golden Girls."
4) Bobby Fischer
He defeated many opponents during the Cold War on the chessboard battlefield.
5) Paul Newman
Racecar driver, director, political activist, philanthropist, actor and pasta sauce man all rolled into one.
Top Five "Lost" Moments
1) Desmond is reunited with Penny
The only moment on this list that doesn't demand more answers from the show, Desmond and Penny's unexpected reunion on her boat is by far the most touching scene "Lost" writers have ever penned. Here's hoping he never has to read "Our Mutual Friend."
2) Jeremy Bentham is dead
After all the major twists and flash-forwards of the season four finale, Jeremy's death seemed a little more shocking than it could have been. Still, why does he leave the island?
3) Ben moves the fucking island with a big fucking wheel
"Lost" has never shown its sci-fi roots as clearly as when Ben moves the island by turning an ancient-looking wheel.
4) Michael's return
Michael, aka the biggest traitor ever, returns and is working for "The Others." Thank God for that freighter explosion.
5) Keamy kills Alex
Of all the casualties in season four, Alex's was the most brutal and unexpected. Keamy is a complete badass, but Alex's execution is downright disturbing.
Top Five Rappers Unaware of or Unfazed by the Recession
"Fuck the recession, I'm still investin'/ 'Bout to buy Dubai and swim in the shark section" (from "Arab Money (Remix)")
"So raaahh, lick a shot for Barack Obama/ Change gon' come or imma buy the whole hood llamas on me" (from "A Billi")
"Ridin' on da 24's runnin' ahead of my time/ Watch runnin' from kind, anotha one on my mind/ Phone bill four grand get ya ho in da line" (from "100 Million")
4) Busta Rhymes
"I'm into counting minerals now, diamonds and granite/ So much paper I could probably gift wrap a planet" (from "Arab Money [Remix]")
5) Jim Jones
"Tell 'em we only want tables and we buyin' out da bottles/ Ohhhh but cha'll kno the order/ Tell 'em 10 roses and a few cold waters/Trolly trone and a couple of lemons/ Ten thousand dollars stuffed up in my denims" (from "Pop Champagne (Remix)")
Top Five Viral Videos
1)"Pork and Beans"
Weezer's video is a sweeping glance at all things viral, a reminder of all those videos we've let fall from our collective consciousness, from stammering beauty queens to... dramatic rodents? It also makes us question: What were we thinking?
2) Bert and Ernie perform M.O.P.'s "Ante Up"
It's been done before - the dubbing of children's television with rap lyrics - but never has it been done quite so well. And we think it's fair to say that no one will ever fuck with Bert or Ernie ever again.
3) John McCain Gets BarackRoll'd
After taking the Interwebs by storm, it was inevitable that the "Rickroll" would eventually find its way into mainstream American politics. Even more inevitable was the fact that it would be John McCain who was Rickrolled.
4) P. Diddy's YouTube channel, specifically Alaska/Palin
Let me set the scene for you: P. Diddy is outside, he's spinning around in circles and talking about how John McCain is "bugging the fuck out" with his choice of Sarah Palin. How could we not put this in the top five?
5) Awkward Rap
For those of us bereft of social graces, College Humor's "Awkward Rap" lets us know that we're not alone in the world. It also lets us know that, yes, other people do notice when you do that. Yes, that.