B’s Bit: The unwanted holiday guest (and I’m not talking about fruitcake)
Your BFF’s boyfriend is the gift you didn’t want, and unfortunately he didn’t come with a receipt.
“My best friend is bringing her boyfriend home for the holidays. I already met him at Thanksgiving, and I don’t like him at all. What should I do? Should I tell her what I think?”
I also had this dilemma last winter break with one of my best friends and her boyfriend, so I get it. You now have to share your best friend with this guy, and you have to pretend you like him too? It sucks.
The thing is, though, you can’t say anything to her about what you think of him. It’s not your place.
Sure, we can argue and play the best friend card, which states that you have the right to tell your best friend you think her boyfriend is a piece of shit. That can be a valuable card to play, but unless she or he asks for your opinion, don’t say anything.
And when they do ask your opinion, don’t say, “I think he’s the worst.” Say something like, “He’s not my cup of tea, but he is definitely yours.”
If you do say something, there’s a good chance your friend can and will get offended. I’ve made that mistake before and regretted it.
I consider that like the ninth Bianca deadly sin: Don’t tell your best friend you hate her boyfriend. (The eighth Bianca deadly sin is that you shouldn’t wear regular underwear with yoga pants/leggings, and all the original seven apply.)
Last year, when I first met my friend’s boyfriend, it was a weird shift to the group. It had always been the three of us: Bianca, Julianne and Sarah. So when a man entered the scene, Sarah and I didn’t know what to do. It was like we were rehearsing a play we didn’t have the script for.
We had only heard and seen things about this guy through social media, and the only thing he knew about me was that I thought he looked like a Cuban Jonah Hill.
Apparently, people don’t like being referred to as a Cuban Jonah Hill. I’ve learned my lesson.
That winter break, we showed her boyfriend around Houston, and it wasn’t that bad. Because Sarah and I knew he made Julianne happy, we were happy. They later broke up toward the end of the spring semester, which is when we told her how we really felt about him. It was the appropriate time to do so.
The conclusion is: He may suck, but your best friend doesn’t. So stick it out and go on that lunch date with them, or go for a stroll and watch them hold hands, much to your dismay.
They’ll break up sooner or later, and if they’re still together, you can stick it out a little longer. Unless you have valid proof he is the cheeseball you think he is, you can’t say anything. Remember that.