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The Seven Traditions of MU: a checklist

Get the most out of your college experience and tackle them all.

By Pierce Courchaine | Aug. 27, 2010

Tags: MOVE Guide

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If bad things come in threes, good things must come in sevens. The seven deadly sins (the best kind of sins), the alcoholic mixed drink known as seven and seven and even 7-Up on its own tell us something: things coming in seven might not be the best decision, but they sure are fun. MU has seven of its own traditions that belong next to the deadly sins and alcoholic beverages. Like the aforementioned examples, they aren’t exactly the best decisions. In fact, most of them are downright illegal. But, for your own personal knowledge, every MU student should at least know the traditions, even if they never attempt them. So, without further adieu:

  1. Streak the quad -- We all ran through The Columns before our first week of school freshman year. That was nothing. Try sprinting the length of the quad in the buff. Bonus points will be awarded if this is achieved during the daytime. And even more points are awarded if you go through Jesse Hall.

  2. Climb Jesse Hall -- In this tradition, the object is to get on top of Jesse, not the dome. We're not going to tell you how to do it, and unless you are an expert climber, scaling the sides of Jesse is going to be difficult. Befriending a Jesse employee and weaseling your way to the top inside the building might be the best way up. Be careful with this one too, trespassing is a serious offense.

  3. Ride the tiger -- Ah, finally a tradition that isn't against the law. The giant bronze statue in Tiger Plaza isn't just for show. It's also for riding. Climb aboard on your own or tag team is with a friend. Snap a picture while on top. It makes a great profile picture for your Facebook.

  4. Swim in Brady Fountain -- Although construction has turned the Brady Fountain area into a war zone recently, the fountain is still begging to be jumped in. Bring trunks or swim in your clothes though, skinny-dipping in there is gross and will only discourage other people from swimming. Be careful when you choose to swim, when it gets too cold in the fall, the water will be shut off. Then you’ll lose your chance to take a dip until next spring.

  5. Explore the tunnels -- Word around the campfire is a series of tunnels run underneath campus. Although we can’t tell you how or where to gain access to MU’s version of the Chamber of Secrets, we can tell you to bring a flashlight and look out for the po-po. This is a major trespassing law. Don’t explore until you’re ready to face the consequences. Or run really fast.

  6. Kiss the 50-yard line of Faurot Field -- Unless you have some sweet hook-up with the football team or are, indeed, on the football team, kissing the 50-yard line is also going to require trespassing. Before the season even starts, pay your respects to our decorated football program. Pucker up and prepare to pick the grass from between your teeth afterward.

  7. Scream, “I love Mizzou!” at Speakers Circle -- There are no legal ramifications for shouting in Speakers Circle; there will only be a slight bout of embarrassment for professing your rampant love for your school. In actuality, you will probably still look like one of the more sane speakers in the entertaining circle. And more power to you if you do it during one of Brother Jed’s rants.

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