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Sex: Knowing when to quit

By Lyndsey Garza

Published July 28, 2010

Sex is a biological necessity, a physiological high and a premiere source of pleasure for most, but, for three to six percent of Americans, it is a source of negativity and turmoil. For those Americans, according to the Mayo Clinic, sex is a source of comfort often sought through Internet pornography, cybersex and literal persistent promiscuity.

Celebrities of all walks, Tiger Woods to David Duchovny to Jesse James, have recently revealed their sexual problems, often immediately in response to the discovery of infidelity or the opportunity of five seconds on "Dr. Drew’s Sex Rehab." A growing number of medical experts agree that compulsive sexual behavior is detrimental and a very real disorder. But how many poor, behavioral decisions are going to be blanketed by a medical condition?

Sex addition is categorized by any compulsive sexual-related behavior that disrupts an individual’s personal life or career. Diagnosed sexual addicts will organize sexual activity and gratification before work, family, friends and their day-to-day life, much like a drug addict or alcoholic will prioritize to get a fix. Healthy sexual expression can often morph into self-defeating behavior and sexual addiction is not characterized by a particular pattern of behavior. Compulsive heterosexual and homosexual relationships, masturbation, incest, molestation, rape, voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution and violence are all attributions.

The average healthy adult could plead guilty to one or two of the aforementioned traits or behaviors, so what really sets apart the suffering sex addict from the average nympho? According to Craig Fabrikant, clinical psychologist at the Hackensack University Medical Center, nothing sets these people apart — it’s more habit than addiction. Furthermore, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the official go-to for psychiatric diagnoses) does not even include a prognosis for sexual addiction.

It is true that, during sexual intercourse, the body goes through a number of changes and a variety of chemicals are released. The vascular, nervous and endocrine systems are responsible for the transactions. Prolactin (relieves arousal after intercourse), oxytocin (contracts muscles and sensitizes nerves), endorphins, epinephrine (triggers release of dopamine), testosterone and serotonin (regulates moods) are all neuro-chemical changes during sex. A normal person will attain this natural high, create a stimulus and cuddle next to their partner until they nod off completely satisfied. A sexual addict will rely on these natural chemical releases to relieve stress or desensitize their life’s problems, similarly how an alcoholic would mask their woes with copious amounts of wine. The chemical reactions, however, are not highly addictive substances in the sense that methamphetamines or other substances produce a false need.

The chemicals released are involuntary and, therefore, uncontrollable. Exploring the addict’s childhood experiences often clues psychologists in to the real issue. Nature versus nurture is a key concept when dissecting these experiences, as many cases derived from previous sexual abuse or neglectful or hostile homes as a child.

The same compulsive behavior that characterizes other addictions or dependencies like drugs, alcohol or gambling involves abusing a tangent object that does not serve a pertinent to our survival. Sexual activity (and therefore addiction) is different in that way, healthy individuals crave sex on a day-to-day basis.

Sexual addiction might suggest too much of a good thing is never, well, truly good. The addiction (which should be used loosely) itself is a result of an environmental source and it is not an addiction that is linked through heredity or a primarily affects the brain like schizophrenia. Conquering sex addiction is realizing a lack of self-control, childhood inadequacies. In the case of Woods and James, not even celebrities are invincible. In case of sexual addiction, it’s not the abundance of something, but the lack of something more important: the control over your life.

If you, or someone you know, suffers from an addiction or loss of self control, contact professional psychological help.