Summer split-ups don't have to mean break-ups

Erica Zucco

By Erica Zucco and Joe Bradley | May 7, 2010

Tags: Sex & Relationships


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It feels like only a few days ago when every relative, neighbor and friend was asking: "So where are you planning on going?" In reality, it was several years ago. A quarter of MU students are getting ready to hear the same question, but for many of us, the answer won't be "Missouri" this time around. Instead, it's everywhere from Chicago to London and from New York to New Zealand. That means a lot of couples will be split far apart. If this is you, and you're planning to stick it out despite the distance, here are a few tips for getting through the months apart until you get to the same zip code, based on your situation.

Situation 1: One of you is still in school, and the other is graduating.

Graduate, keep in mind where your partner is now is exactly where you were just months ago. When you're clocking in at 7 a.m. every morning, it might be hard to sympathize with the Friday morning hangover they're shaking off, but remember you're only a year ahead. You might be a "grown-up" now, but they're still enjoying those college years, so be understanding. And for the one left behind? Know things are going to change. Your partner will have a different schedule and, potentially, different priorities. This means the dynamic of your relationship will change, and it might not work.

Situation 2: Both are graduating and going different places.

Let each other really enjoy where you are. You'll be busy with work, service or whatever else you're doing, but you should soak up new places and faces. Be comfortable with the fact that your partner will be meeting new people, but trust if it's meant to be, everything will be okay. Skype weekly (or more), and share your experiences consistently so you know what and who your significant other is chatting about.

Situation 3: Both are coming back to school, but will spend the summer apart.

In the grand scheme of things, three months isn't a whole lot of time, but a summer spent without your partner can seem like forever. Just because you can't be with your partner doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy yourself. Even if you're working, take some time out to do the things you love during the summer. If you have the time and ability to travel, go visit wherever your partner is for a few days. Explore their city/town and meet their friends and/or family.

Situation 4: You'll be in the same place.

Okay, so maybe it's not exactly long distance, but even if you'll be in the same zip code, give each other some space over the summer. The summer months can often free up your schedule, meaning you'll have more time to spend together. Take advantage of that in some ways, but don't feel the need to spend every minute together. Plan some fun outdoor dates, because the weather will be amazing. If your partner wants some alone time to hit the golf course or read a book, don't give them crap for it.

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