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Don't fear the parents

Meeting your significant other's parents doesn't have to be stressful.

By Erica Zucco and Joe Bradley

Published March 12, 2010

The three words that can strike the most fear into any partner in a relationship have nothing to do with I, love or you. We're talking about "meet the parents." What if your significant other's dad is an intimidating former CIA agent like in "Meet the Parents"? What if they are just now finding out you have a last name like Focker? What if you lose their cat, set their backyard on fire and smash their relative's urn? Hey, it could happen — if you don't read this column, that is.

When you're in college, it's tricky. In high school, your parents might have met your new S.O. in a more casual setting, like pre-Homecoming photos or in the principal's office after you got caught making out in the computer lab (For the record, it was someone else, not either of us). But now, you'll meet the parents at either a restaurant for dinner when they come to visit for Parents' Weekend, or you'll visit their house with your partner for a weekend of nonstop get-to-know-you fun. And when you do, all eyes are on you. What to do?

Before you meet them: Be sure to ask about the parents' pet peeves and what they like to be called. Joe's dad, for example, hates it when people chew gum loudly or with their mouths open. This was only a slight problem for me, considering I chew gum like a cow chews cud. Classy, I know.

Also, give your S.O. background info on all your family members to keep conversation flowing and avoid awkward moments or touchy subjects. If there's a slight chance they might want to stop at your house, clean your room beforehand. And if you drive anywhere to meet them, clean your car first! You might have to drive their family members somewhere and chances are, your S.O.'s mom doesn't appreciate empty Sonic cups the way you do.

While you're there: Dress appropriately. That means no visible boxers or bra straps. Offer to pay for meals, even if they won't take your money. If they won't, it's a no-brainer, but remember to say thank you. And if you're eating over and they make something weird, at least pretend to eat it. If you're vegetarian, have your S.O. tell his family ahead of time, so you don't have to deal with the awkward moment.

If the chance arises, have them over for dinner and cook yourself. Remember to fit in with the family. Don't be standoffish. And it's just as important to impress siblings as it is to make a good impression on parents. If your S.O. has a little brother or sister, have fun playing "Rock Band" or Operation. Also, chances are the parents will ask you a lot of questions. Answer them with energy and interest. Don't cop out with a yes or no. Ask questions back, too — about their jobs, interests, experiences. People love to talk about themselves, right?

Remember, you want to make a good impression, but you should be yourself. If a relationship ends up being long-term and your S.O. sees their family often, meeting up could be a regular occurrence. You don't want to have to stifle your personality every time they come to town. So have fun, and use this as a time to get to know them.