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Show them your ‘O’ face

By Lyndsey Garza

Published Oct. 22, 2010

Sixty-five percent of women have seen the light of the orgasm, according to the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2010. For some women, though, the enlightenment is not as easy as pornography, movies or magazines imply. In fact, 12 percent of married women between the ages of 21 and 25 admitted they have never seen the promised land, which leads you to think: What exactly are they doing wrong?

Nothing, researchers said.

In fact, many women struggle to reach an orgasm along the climaxing journey. In a recent study from Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion and Knowledge Networks (an online research company typically used for national government polling), found that of 6,000 participants ages 14 to 92, 85 percent of men reported their female counterparts having had an orgasm. Only 64 percent of women actually reported having an orgasm. Where’s the discrepancy here? It lies in perception, really. Men perceive a woman’s experience during sex vastly different than the actual reality. Call it faking or calling bluff — either way , something is not happening here, and it should be making you moan.

One myth to extinguish is that you simply lie there and the orgasms will flock. In actuality, for an orgasm to occur, women must have a type of tension called myotonia, which includes the legs, abdominals and cheeks tightening. Most orgasms occur in the lower pelvis and contracting these muscles — known as Kegels — increase blood flow to the sexy bits and helps facilitate the umph. In order to locate your Kegels, take a chance on the loo to contract and stop the flow of urine. These are the same muscles that when contracted while give you the big show. It’s easy to train these muscles too, just take a few moments to do a few sets of squeezing while deep breathing.

Once your muscles are buff, from now on it is just fine-tuning. Start off in a power position that allows for a lot of friction. Friction does not mean going sans lubrication, but rather positioning yourself to be grinded in the good way. Hoist yourself on top — it allows your clitoris to rub against your partner’s pubic bone. After your ride, slide underneath your partner and bring a pillow under your butt. The modified angle will allow your partner to hit your hot spot (the g-spot) more directly without all the extra fuss.

Sometimes the problem is the lack of clear communication. It is sometimes embarrassing for women to claim their fame to pleasure, but men really desire clear direction. Simply let your partner know what he are doing right and if it needs improvement. Guide his hand to your hot spot and demonstrate what intensity, pressure or pattern you desire. And most importantly, when he does it right, make sure your neighbors also know. Let loose. Studies show that not only is your moan and groan a way to express ecstasy and release stress, but it can impact your romp’s level of satisfaction.

In a number of studies, women report their highest libido killer as being work or family stress. Ditch the stress, relax and even explore kama sutra, the ancient Indian prose that involves heavy breathing and high intimacy. Not only will kama sutra allow you to devour your partner from afar with just an elongated stare, it will also incite a spiritual aspect of the experience. An important lesson to learn from the Indian scripts is to delay the pleasure. Tease each other. Try to make it a head game. Before you know it, you will be handling more orgasms than you can count.