I got my Crunchwrap and my flippy-floppies
Musical beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Published Sept. 4, 2009
I love really bad songs and I don't care who knows.
It breaks my heart to call them really bad, but that's what my younger brother has proclaimed of the last few tracks I have tried to introduce to him.
"Pizza Hut Taco Bell" by Das Racist is just one example. I really don't understand the negativity, because once you hear the title of the song, you can sing along to the entire thing — literally! Who wouldn't like that? In my humble opinion, this should only push its playability through the roof.
I refuse to believe my newfound love for T-Bell's Crunchwrap Supreme has biased me in favor of this song. It's just that good — good enough for me to have three versions of it on my computer and have it threatening to break into my "Top 25 Most Played" list on iTunes. The "wallpaper. remix," which mixes in brass instrumentals and a killer bass beat, is my absolute favorite and the first track on my brand-spanking new driving playlist.
As much as I've come to love it, this ode to fast food franchising will never surpass my one true musical love.
That's right, "I'm On A Boat" by The Lonely Island, the comic trio of YouTube celebrities led by Saturday Night Live's own Andy Samberg, will always occupy a very special place in my heart — all two minutes and 37 seconds of it.
I can't put my finger on exactly why, but this song just speaks to my soul. It makes an excellent tune while driving, with the windows rolled down and the stereo blasting. Every time Akiva Schaffer yells out, "Fuck land — I'm on a boat, motherfucker! Fuck trees — I climb buoys, motherfucker!" I feel my heart rise up with utter joy. "Yes," I want to yell out on my way to work. "I own this road! Eat it up, Interstate 66!" At this point, I usually push down on the gas and pass whatever unfortunate soul happens to be driving the speed limit. The feeling of empowerment this song gives me is extreme; I don't feel the need to turn the volume down as I sit still at a stoplight, but let the bass boom and shake the cars waiting in the adjacent lanes.
When the track ends, I press the seek button back and listen to it again. This is more often than not followed by a third play-through.
So, yes, I list songs about fast food chains and modes of transportation in my top 10. I haven't finalized the other eight yet, but I can tell you these two have reserved spots.
Although they've labeled themselves to be "the greatest fake MC's on Earth," the boys of The Lonely Island have spoken to me in a very real way. I might not own my own boat, but they've given me more music I can relate to than that of any other artist. For example: I plan on fully encompassing all of the traits Andy Samberg presents in "Like A Boss" when I'm presiding over my own corner office space one day. I'm also surrounded by male friends and attempting to understand their athletic obsessions, portrayed more or less accurately in "We Like Sportz."
Alas, some things are not meant to be. Until I can live out that fantasy I will have to suck it up, plug in my headphones and pretend I can taste that bomb frosting on those wonderful baked goods.