Column:
The rules for a summer apart
Published May 5, 2009
Columbia kicks ass. It is absolutely the greatest city to spend four years, or for some of us, five or six.
But sadly, for most of us, living in Columbia is a shallow bang that we give the wrong phone number. We stay here, occasionally go to class, wake up next to a stranger and then ditch it for some shinier and sexier place. Almost everything we start here has an expiration date.
What happens when you find someone completely awesome right before summer, or worse, graduation? You will no longer have Columbia (or the stacks at Club Ellis) as your playground. It's a lot easier to develop and keep a romance blooming if you are at least in the same area code. I have to say, this thought only came to me today. A sexy vixen and fan of the column suggested it to me at a barbecue. I hadn't thought about it. My boyfriend, Archimedes, and I are moving in together. I couldn't imagine a summer without him. I've already broken two vibrators in the past six months. I would probably have to buy them by the case if he were away for a summer.
This girl was totally right, though. No one really has any idea what the boundaries are during the summer for people who are just "talking." Because that's what "talking" really is. Two people don't really know each other well enough to decide whether or not they want to commit. Usually they enjoy one another's company or enjoy bumping uglies without beer goggles. Basically it's not a relationship, but it isn't shallow sex either. Then again, that's just my view of "talking." To some psycho girls (and sometimes dudes) if you are "talking," you might as well send out save-the-dates.
If the two of you are just starting out or "talking," you don't want to have that conversation yet. That conversation completely takes the fun out of everything that comes with a new crush: "Hey, I know we are going to be living in different states this summer, so I was wondering if you would like to go steady or if we are free to fuck other people?" Total buzzkill.
So, what are the rules of being apart? I think the golden rule is to simply not do anything that would piss you off if your playmate did the same. If you wouldn't get mad if he or she drunkenly made out with a stranger, then kiss away. But, if you would want to cut a bitch if they boned, keep your legs together or your dick in your pants. You can worry about your status when Columbia reunites you two again.
I, too, will be leaving Columbia soon. By some small miracle, I am actually graduating in four years. Yes, with a completely worthless degree in this economy, but a degree indeed. I wouldn't trade my years here for the world, even with a few regrettable sexual escapades. Yes, I could have had a threesome with a guy who knew where my clit was and I could not have had my face stepped on while my friend was boning some dude, but I wouldn't change a thing. It led me to where I am, with a great boyfriend who treats me like a queen and is definitely the best sex of my life. I will miss you, Columbia, but I am positive there are plenty of young sex enthusiasts -- like the girl I met today -- who will carry on the legacy.