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Re-watch: Drink your Ovaltine and watch 'A Christmas Story'

Even after 24-hour marathons, this holiday classic never gets old.

Published Dec. 11, 2009

I've often wondered what it says about my family that our biggest Christmas tradition revolves around a movie. Does it mean we're TV-obsessed? Pathetic? Or does it mean we're simply in love with "A Christmas Story"?

For those who are unfortunate enough to never have seen this 1983 Christmas classic, "A Christmas Story" tells the story of Ralphie Parker, a 9-year-old living in the fictional town of Hohman in the '30s or '40s. The movie is based on the semi-autobiographical short stories of Jean Shepherd, three of which originally appeared in Playboy Magazine.

Although the movie only grossed $19.2 million when it was released, today it is arguably the most popular Christmas movie of all time. Every year, "A Christmas Story" runs for 24 hours straight on Christmas Day on TBS. Home tours are conducted at the Parker's movie home in Cleveland. Need I mention the countless mail order catalogs selling leg lamp and Red Ryder BB gun replicas?

In numerous ways "A Christmas Story" is so much more than a movie. Like a really good book, with each viewing I pick up certain lessons about life I had never considered before.

After my first viewing of the film, which was before I knew what the "f-dash-dash-dash" word was, I learned it's OK to back down from a triple dog dare --especially if it involves a telephone pole.

I learned to never trust my older siblings' challenges. Roller-skate down the stairs? Wash the cat in the bathtub? Forget it. In fact, that's still good advice today. Break into Memorial Union's bell tower? No way.

Upon viewing the film again, I've also learned never to underestimate the commercial aspects of anything. When Ralphie discovers Little Orphan Annie's important message is just a "crummy commercial," it makes me wonder if it's possible Tony the Tiger didn't really care if I was "grrreeeaaat," but just wanted me to buy his cereal.

Seeing Ralphie and his brother wait for an hour to see Santa Claus only to be greeted by a bitter and disturbing man in a big red suit now makes me question if Santa is some sort of metaphor for our gloomy futures. Perhaps there isn't going to be a jolly employer with a big paycheck awaiting me after graduation, but more like a bill collector in a pinstriped suit, ready to crush my dreams. "Merry Christmas, kid. Ho, ho, ho."

"A Christmas Story" also does a good job reigniting some negative childhood memories, such as not receiving that Easy Bake Oven or Razor Scooter I so desperately pleaded for each year. I can relate to Ralphie's pain of repeatedly getting told, "You'll shoot your eye out!" after asking for an "official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing, which tells time." But it seems if you're lucky, things do turn out the way you want them to.

Ralphie does receive his coveted Red Ryder BB gun. Therefore, I have hope maybe this will be the year I will awaken to that Easy Bake Oven under the Christmas tree. Perhaps I'll come back to MU in January, Razor Scooter in hand.

But putting aside any morals or metaphors, "A Christmas Story" is simply something my family can depend on. Although we might have moved apart and interests might have shifted, my family can always depend on the Parkers to visit us on Christmas Day, leg lamp and all.