Column:
We want gourmet porn
Published Oct. 16, 2009
Porn is a natural extension of our curiosity about sex and our collective shame about that interest. Learning that our natural urges are to be repressed and controlled, we look at porn to fill this curiosity. Most young people will turn to it to see what they can't see elsewhere — lots of naked bodies and sexual acts.
It's a complicated issue. Feminists can say, "It demeans women," and conservatives can say, "It promotes promiscuity," and each will have a good argument. Is porn a good thing? A necessary evil? Or just a vehicle for us to appeal to our base desires?
Well, it can be all of these things. Porn, like most every other product marketed to us, is not appealing to our intelligence or our sense of subtlety. It is a product like any other designed to make money. When something is designed to make money, it is not designed to be smart.
Porn has a long way to go. The list of transgressions is numerous and includes things like the promotion of unrealistic body imagery, demeaning sexual acts and a complete lack of female-friendly story lines. As it is, straight porn uses physically unattractive men and the women are plastic and unrealistic, with no pubic hair, fake boobs, bad tans and the sex is uncreative and uninspired. Male pleasure is valued far over female pleasure.
If you've seen one porn, you've seen most. What's with that? I think the porn industry has decided it's going to market to a male demographic and this is what men want, apparently. First, that's seriously generalizing what men want sexually and second, porn would get more business if they tried some female-inclusive tactics. Porn can be for men and women, believe it or not.
Look, I don't want to see some gross, hairy, sweaty man with a mullet and a beer gut almost have a heart attack while doing some squeaky Barbie come to life. I do want to see attractive men and women. I want to see women who look like human beings, not dolls, women that have pale skin or tan skin, big butts, small butts, blondes, brunettes, whatever. Also, women with some natural pubic hair would be nice. The lighting is also usually really unflattering and florescent, so let's get some nice lighting in there too. The cheesy music has to go. Some actual music that people listen to, add that in there.
Sex is the point of porn, right? So why is it so conventional? I want something else, something new. I don't want to be slapped in the face with these repetitive rabbit-like sex images and neither does most of the female demographic. We want to be tantalized and teased, not slapped in the face with gross and demeaning images. If you are looking for something different, actively search out female-friendly, body positive and creative porn companies or porn movies. They exist, you just have to find them.
Porn, at it's worst, is like fast food; at it's best, it can be a gourmet meal. I think it's time we've started demanding the lobster bisque, not the french fries.
