Column:
Sexting for noobs
Published Sept. 17, 2008
Your roommate’s sleeping but your significant other is texting you, wanting some audio stimulation. “I want you. I need you. I crave you,” he says. What’s the next best thing?
Text sex.
Before initiating some T9 heavy petting, there are some things you should know. First of all, do you have unlimited text messages? As you know, your guy or girl probably needs a lot of stimulation to get going without you there, so be sure you don’t incur charges during your steamy texting session.
Next, make sure your phone's ringer is silenced. Don’t want to wake the roommate with your vibrate alert every time he sends some steamy sentiments. (Although remember that vibrate option for when you’re alone.)
Now get ready to rock his world.
Some things to remember: check your spelling before sending out that message. T9 can be handy if you use it right, but nothing ruins the mood more than having to decipher “I want to publ your ambl.”
Getting a little stuck? Can’t think of what to do to him next? If you don’t have a dirty mind 24/7, it becomes hard to fabricate fantasies for your man to handle himself with.
Something guys always like to hear is what you’re doing to yourself. Get a little freaky and let yourself go a bit. Make up something you wouldn’t necessarily do in real life. What you’re doing is a little weird anyway, so why not take it all the way?
That being said, there are a few things you ought to be wary of before engaging in any form of electronic coitus, which I will, from here on out, refer to as “e-coitus.” E-coitus is any form of fantasy exchange occurring through forms of communication, including phone, cyber and text sex. Smoke signal sex coming soon.
But I digress. There are some things to consider during e-coitus. First of all, if you are in a relationship and exchanging sexy messages, don’t introduce extreme fantasies you haven’t yet talked about in person. A good friend of mine came to me with a problem she recently had: during text sex, he got into ... butt play. Needless to say, they hadn’t talked about it before then and she was absolutely mortified. Nothing ruins the mood like a surprise butt play fetish.
Something else to seriously consider is the person with whom you’re having e-coitus. Is this a guy you know and trust or just some booty-caller in need of a little e-fix? Is there a chance all of his friends are in the room reading or listening to your dirtiest fantasies? Another danger of text sex is that your partner can save the messages, and dirty messages always have a way of falling into the wrong hands.
Text sex can be a great — and silent — way to tide yourselves over until you can get a little face time, so have some fun with it, practice and after a while you will find a rhythm you both can get into.